The Beth Sesh

Christmas Lunch Do's and Don'ts

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Beth’s Christmas Lunch Do's & Don’ts

Christmas is almost here, hooray! Christmas is one of my favourite days of the year… It means spending time with loved ones, the opening of lots of presents and eating a ridiculous amount of food. Getting the extended family together though, particularly when it involves some of the older relatives, comes with difficulties. I am confident in saying that I am a master at charming the grandparents… So here is my list of do’s and don’ts.


  • Bring a plate of food – Number one rule, it is simply rude if you don’t.
  • Bring a bottle/several bottles of wine. You will need all the relaxing you can get (drink responsibly).
  • Make up a fake boyfriend/girlfriend. I am so over relatives asking about my dating life. This year I am fabricating a person just to shut them up.
  • Turn up on time. Unlike the parties I attend where it is socially acceptable to turn up three hours late, grandma will not be impressed if the roast pork gets cold while she is waiting for you to finish your hair.
  • Wear something appropriate. Especially if you are playing with kids. Save the party dress or festival attire for New Year’s Eve.
  • Have pre-prepared answers to the same questions every cousin/aunt & uncle you haven’t seen for a year are going to ask.
  • Act excited when your grandma gives you a pair of socks, again.
  • Get in first for desserts. Otherwise, what even is the point on coming.


  • Talk about politics.
  • Talk about religion.
  • Attempt to cook a roast for the first time. This takes years to master and Christmas is not the time to try. Leave it to the professionals.
  • Forget the presents. Young children will notice, and they will cry.
  • Play Monopoly. We made this mistake last Christmas and got in a full-blown argument. This is not good for family bonding.
  • Offer to be the deso driver. Once again, I repeat, dealing with old people.
  • Have a big breakfast. Aim for something light.
  • Commit to going for a walk after Christmas lunch. Take a nap instead.
  • Use the phrase ‘OK Boomer’…. Actually, maybe you can use that phrase… If a comment calls for it.

Use these tips and you might make it through Christmas without any tears!

  1. I love my grandparents… And I’m very glad they don’t have social media and will not be reading this.

     - Beth x

18 December 2019

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