Ways You Know You're A True Crime Addict

Is this you?


Tanya Hennessy

30 April 2019

Tanya Hennessy

Article heading image for Ways You Know You're A True Crime Addict

There is no denying it, the True Crime genre is having a damn good renaissance right now. From The Teacher’s Pet podcast which amassed over 22 million downloads, to The Staircase and Making a Murderer on Netflix. Not to mention the 40 Ted Bundy shows and films. (I hear they are doing a Ted Bundy Reality show - to find America's Next Serial Killer on Stan).

People are obsessed. I know I am. So here are some ways you know whether or not you’re a true crime addict.

(If you relate to more than five of these, it’s time to ease up on the true crime podcasts and TV series! I had to after I became so paranoid that someone was outside my house trying to kill me. For weeks, I was so scared. It was a tree.)

Okay, here we go:

  • You hear about a suburb or place you relate it back to a murder or case you know… “Oh you live in Ringwood? That reminds me of the Mr Cruel murders back in the 80s, did you know they never caught him...”
  • You actually believe that you could probably crack a case that has stumped the police.
  • You’re 99% sure you could get away with a murder.
  • You have a FAVOURITE serial killer.
  • You mentally take note of every random thing you see like three girls walking home from school at 3pm with pink and purple bags... you know in case you need details to recount your attempted murder. 
  • When you watch a fictional court case on TV and say “That’s ridiculous there’s no way that’d even get to trial without a credible witness or DNA evidence and it’s all just circumstantial and “How can it have possibly be proven beyond reasonable doubt?”.
  • You genuinely think you could leave your job and study criminology or be a lawyer.
  • You mentally start listing aspects of a stranger's appearance in case you have to describe it to a police sketch artist later, He’s got brown hair, small forehead, hooded eyes, goatee, about 170cm
  • You get excited to be called up for jury duty like it is the most exciting job you have ever had!
  • You start think of every strategic move you would make in the unlikely event of an intruder - nearest weapon, escape route etc.
  • You see black garbage bags, and assume they must be bodies
  • When you go for a walk along a lake/river/foreshore and constantly scan the water’s edge for a washed up dead body or when you go hiking, you're almost positive you'll stumble upon a body.
  • You’ve actually lost sleep wondering what would happen if you were falsely accused of murder.

That last one is why I can't sleep. Sooooo…. Yeah…  I'm off the true crime for a bit!

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