How to Avoid Being Swopped By Magpies

Ned's Complete Guide


Article heading image for How to Avoid Being Swopped By Magpies

With the recent season change and the weather warming up, people are heading outdoors more and more to see our beautiful territory’s scenery but with Spring comes a very real threat.

That threat being Magpies.

Magpies have somehow managed to get away with simultaneously being a national treasure and one of the most annoying birds to grace our Australian skies.

Swooping has become a part of spring life for Australians and as someone who has lived through 25 springs, here are my top 5 tips to avoid being swooped by these black and white knives with wings.

A Propeller Hat

Sure, they may be popular amongst children between the ages of 3-6 but it may also act as the ultimate deterrent to scare away your warbling worries. How are the magpies going to swoop a head that has a literal propeller on it?

Umbrellas

Whilst umbrellas may be a little out of style by the time spring rolls round with rain becoming more and more scarce but giving your head, shoulders and back a full shield seems like nothing but a good idea. Potentially even change it up to a parasol to be a little more extra and seasonal.

Googly Eyes

I don’t know whether this is a myth or not but apparently, Magpies don’t swoop at you if you’re looking at them so why not stick some massive googly eyes on the back of your head. Comfortable? No. Stylish? Also no. But, effective? A definite maybe.

Magpie Costume

You always see Magpies swooping humans, dogs and potentially a cat every now and again but you never see magpies swooping other magpies so why not dress as a human sized magpie and enjoy your spring in peace. Granted, you may get strange looks from other people and even acted by frightened dogs but you can cross magpies off your list of attackers.

Just Stay Inside

You know where there are no magpies? In your loungeroom. Just wait out the treacherous season from the comfort of your own home. Best of all, if you get bored, sit outside your house and watch the poor unfortunate souls that walk past big gumtrees or through parks run in terror as they haven’t read this list and have no idea how to combat these protective winged devils.

So there you have it Canberra, my complete guide to avoid being swooped by magpies!
- Ned

2 October 2020




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