During my 2397 weeks of isolation, I’ve sent myself down some pretty deep and creepy food holes. I’m either too lazy to make something with any nutritional value or Masterchef-ing it up with the hopes it works out. But not going to lie, I’m on a bit of a hit and miss streak.
So, here’s my Do's and Don’ts for iso eating… Some handy tips so you don’t have to make the same mistakes I did…
DO make mac ‘n’ cheese chicken pie
This is exactly what you’re thinking. A chicken pie… with Mac ‘n’ Cheese in it. And it tasted exactly like you’re thinking… Straight from the Gods!!!
DON’T eat a whole packet of Shapes in a few hours
And that was right after dinner too. I’m definitely not complaining about eating a whole box of Shapes (Cheese and Bacon flavour if you’re asking), but safe to say I could feel my belly hangover well into lunch the next day. Also woke up with two more pimples.
DO make my famous Milo sludge
My top-secret recipe is approximately 10 heaped tablespoons of Milo with a dash of milk or water to make it the perfect sludge consistency. Not too runny and not too thick. Chuck a banana in and it’s pretty much a healthy snack.
DON’T buy all the yummy snacks in one go hoping you’ll have enough self-control to eat them over a long period of time like an adult
Well you can guess how this turned out. I somehow got a pimple on my knee and ankle from this one.
DO cook a Christmas ham
‘Christmas Ham? In May?’
Yes, okay?! I can do what I want! A handy tip too is to get your house mate to cook it while you’re watching The Office.
DON’T drink three coffees before 11 and call it ‘brunch’
SO MUCH ENERGY!!!! Am I about to pass out? Am I on the verge of a career breakthrough? Definitely not, but I don’t think this tingling feeling in my hand is normal.
DO bake cinnamon scrolls
Cinnamon scrolls are what the Gods eat for breakfast. And my oh my they are goooooood when they’re fresh out of the oven. Just beware the process takes around 4 hours and there’s a 99% chance they’ll disappear within 24 hours.
At the end of the day, you do you. If you wanna’ eat a whole box of shapes, you do that! Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.