YOU GUYS. We're FINALLY here. Part one of the Bachelor finale where Matty J gets one step closer to happily ever after. For like, maybe, a year. BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT. The point is, emotions are running high, all around Australia, and so without further ado, HERE WE GO!
I love how these episodes start with Matty either surfing, or at the beach, or skimming pebbles, drinking tea or looking longingly at the ocean, with dramatic yet melancholy music in the background.
For good fun, I'm watching alongside my sister who hates this show and hasn't watched an episode thus far. Her thoughts? "This is lame". Gonna be a long night.
First off the rank is a date with Laura. Guys, Laura's gonna win. Like it's so obvious. He's in love, he wants to make babies with her, and I'm pretty sure she's up for it as well.
They're going to go hang gliding. They're all cute, and flirty and Sister's ready to vomit in a bucket.
So they jumped off a cliff, they flew around for a bit and landed safely and survived.
I'm really just ready for Tara. Not gonna lie. I also miss Jen. I miss the drama.
So excited for Sophie Monk's season beginning next week. Bring it on.
Anyway, Matty and Laura go and have dinner and basically he's DESPERATE for her to tell him she loves him, AND OMG GUYS. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS BUT HE TOTALLY DREW A PHOTO OF HER.
He did not draw that. Impossible. Are you serious? He's like I drew this for you and she's like OMG MATE.
Mate, he totally traced a photo of her. Sister's like "I could trace like that in Year 5". Her reaction but.
How romantic is that pash as well guys. Just Laura, Matty, and her portrait.
Meanwhile, most of Australia on twitter just wants Tara back on screen, and wants to see Tara. They're gonna be so gutted when she doesn't win. Like they're all gunning for Tara.
Anyway, Laura pours her heart out, basically tells him in a very roundabout way that she's falling in love with him and he's like thanks. LOL.
I'm in a glass case of emotion.
At this point, Sister is cleaning her kitchen because she doesn't want to watch anymore.
Let's move on to ELISE and Matty, the romantic, picks her up in a train for their date. Sort of like the train out of Harry Potter, so i'm all about it. Hogwarts forever.
Look guys, I'm gonna be real here. Elise is a sweet girl, but they literally dedicated about 30 minutes to Matty and Laura, and they dedicated about 15 minutes to Matty and Elise. Elise is cute but is she and Matty a thing? Who knows.
NEK MINUTE and it's date time with Tara. Guys, how funny is Tara. I love Tara. I really want her to win, I just don't think she will. They're super cute. He arrives in a plane and she's like OMGGGGG THAT'S FULLLLYYY SICCKKKKKK BROOOOO.
LOVE THIS CHICK.
I have a terrible feeling the producers are setting us up again this season. Tara is going to be the Nikki of last season.
Nek minute they're on a boat. ANOTHER BOAT. I don't have time.
I hope Matty doesn't send Tara home. Maybe he'll send Elise home. Like Matty picked her up on the Hogwarts Express and then took her for some wine and cheese, meanwhile he went hand gliding with Laura, and then he took Tara up in a seaplane, followed by a romantic boat ride. JUST SAYING.
Just trying to prepare myself mentally though, because I reckon Tara is gonna have her heart broken.
The poor girl literally pours her heart out to him. She's so into him, she wants him, etc etc. MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT. PLEASE DON'T BREAK HER HEART MATTY.
Rose ceremony time and the ladies all look beautiful - and SPANNER IN THE WORKS.
TARA IS SENT HOME. GEESUS.
CAN'T COPE. EVEN MATTY'S CRYING.
MY SISTER WHO HATES THIS SHOW THINKS IT'S TOTAL BULLS**T.
That escalated really quickly. Remember when Blake Garvey did this a few season's ago, and sent Louise home third but ended up with her anyway? But not really, because they actually broke up in the end? Anyway. That's besides the point.
Anyway. Tune in tomorrow for The Bachelor Australia finale where it's inevitable Laura will win.
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