Ever been through a really bad breakup where you go from having seen each other every day, to not seeing them at all ever again?
The loss is hard and sometimes it feels like there’s no closure, but according to a new study, one of the things we’ve always been told is a no no with your ex might actually be a YES:
Post break-up sex.
According to the new study, giving into the temptation of getting physical with you ex post-break up actually helps you both heal.
Looking at a group of 113 adults who had recently called it quits with their partners, researched analysed how their behaviour after the breakup affected how long it took for them to move on.
Participants were asked to keep a diary of their feelings and actions towards their ex (this included any contact they had after the split).
After two months, the researchers checked in with them to see how they were all going, emotionally.
The results showed that those who had given in and had break-up sex with their partner felt much more positive emotions following the deed and felt a sense of closure to their relationship.
It helped them feel more strongly connected to their ex, but didn’t negatively affect their recovery process.
The authors explained, “Perhaps those who opt to pursue sex with an ex are less motivated to obtain closure regarding the breakup and thus do not experience conflict with goals for connection.
"For these individuals, satisfying connectedness goals by pursuing sexual activity with an ex-partner may be a globally positive experience.”
More research from Naked Divorce’s interview with Tracey Cox, a sex expert in the UK revealed, “Sometimes we need to go back to move forward, and revisiting the sexual side of the relationship can sometimes make us see very clearly that we’ve idealised the relationship or feel much less pain than we thought.
"So there’s a sense of closure that can be helpful.”
Of course, we all know that sometimes this really is a bad idea and doesn’t work for everyone because feelings get hurt and expectations get misunderstood…