Yes, it’s springtime in Australia which, of course, means the magpies are here to try and kill you.
But, if you live in Tea Tree Gully, there is just one magpie you should be worried about.
Yes, just one.
One evil magpie whose name is probably Balthazar or Dennis and is described as “vicious”, is swooping around Handcock Road near Royal Admiral Place at Surrey Downs.
As for their Killer Magpie survival tips, we are told the following:
- Avoid the area where the magpies are nesting.
- Wear sunglasses and a hard hat such as a bike helmet.
- Carry a stick above your head or an open umbrella.
- Walk, don’t run.
- Cyclists should try wheeling their bikes through magpie territory.
- Try setting up a bird feeding table in your backyard so magpies will learn to recognise you as a friend.
Yes, that woman in a work suit wearing a helmet, carrying a stick above her head walking slowly in the park.
Also, please tell us if you’ve befriended your local magpies via bird feeding table, we’d love to hear your story.
Do you pass through this magpie’s swooping turf? Have you seen the magpie? HAS IT ATTACKED YOU? Share your story in our Facebook comments!
Ps, please don’t hurt the magpies if they aren’t attacking you.