Episode 2 has come around quicker than it took Leah to make everyone in the mansion despise her! Or maybe not? But anyway, welcome to the next stage of Matty courting a bunch of eligible women to find his one true love. If you haven't yet caught up, you can check out my episode 1 recap to get you up to speed!
To start off the episode tonight, the girls debrief the first night and have come to the conclusion there is tension. You don't say...
Osher suddenly appears to deliver the first SINGLE DATE CARD for the season. But who will the lucky lady be? Tara takes one for the team and gets up to read: "I felt a spark immediately, let me see your wild side". WHO IS IT? HURRY UP, TARA! It's...Elora, the fire stick chick! Damn, those sticks must've impressed Matty. Now, how can I get my hands on some magic fire sticks?
Elora walks along the beach with a voiceover because, Bachie protocol. While Matty arrives on a boat to greet her - classic. They sail the high seas in what looks to be your everyday catamaran. Matty offers her an OJ because it's too early for champagne. In my mind, he could've mixed the two to make mimosas but you know, each to their own.
He compliments her magic fire stick dance and they exchange some banter, hold hands and they watch dolphins. Ffs, this is perfect #HALP
In the next shot, Matty has his shirt off and they both go for a dip. In his little voiceover, he says she's stunning and many other compliments as they frolick and flirt in the water.
Meanwhile, back in the mansion, Leah, Jennifer and someone else who I forgot already chat about very important issues - like how pissed off they'll be if Elora comes back with a rose and a kiss.
Back to the date: Matty and Elora have retired from their frolicking and start being cute af. They take a first date selfie, cuddle, he strokes her hair (crying internally) and before we can see what happens next, we flick back to the mansion. There's a group date card!
It reads: "Ladies, do you remember the first time you fell in love?" - Now, the girls selected to join Matty on the group date are: Cobie, Elizabeth, Sian, Laura, Florence, Tara, Simone, Natalie, Leah and Jennifer.
Jennifer is already planning world domination, also known as planning to outshine the other girls.
Back on the date, Matty & Elora have seemed to have made their way back to land and are saying how much they already like each other and a kiss is LOOMING...LOOOOOOOOMING! With a missed moment to pucker up, Elora asks about Matty's experience on The Bachelorette and most importantly, Georgia. DUN DUN DUN DUNNNNNN! He says he's ready to fall in love again and he is still fond of her - this is proof that time HEALS all wounds. Well, not for me because I haven't had a piece of peppermint chocolate in 20 minutes and my wounds have not yet been healed. There's a long road ahead for me yet. Send me your best wishes please.
Matty is extremely into her and keeps saying all the things he likes about her and to top it all off, he pulls out a rose! Poor Elora forgot there were even roses involved in Bachie, bless.
The date is over and the girls are waiting for her to walk through and hereeee she cooooomes, armed with a fresh rose and obviously, the girls want to know all the details. One of the girls ask if she made out with their boyfriend and kept digging. The mean girls have been identified: Jennifer, Leah & Sian. NOTED.
It's group date time and like every year, they start off with an exclusive photo shoot for Woman's Day - this time it's 80s-themed. They are broken up into groups for each scenario and the lucky girl to get the one-on-one photo with Matty is...MEAN GIRL LEAH!
The girls are getting their hair & makeup 'did' and we soon find out the first girls off the rank are Jennifer in a full coverage Lifesaving suit, complete with a cap and crimped hair. Then there's Florence, in a hot af red bikini who gets to get up close with Matty in the pool. Jen.is.pissed and I can't help but love it - so sue me.
Jealous Jen has had enough and takes off her Lifesaver suit to reveal a skimpy one piece and makes a splash in the pool, much to the shock of Matty. But hey, she got her way - she's now clinging on to Matty like a monkey and posing up a storm while stroking his chiseled abs. I wish I was stroking his chiseled abs.
It's high school dance time with Matty and he's joined by Nat, Sian, Laura & Elizabeth in scrunchies and frill dresses. He is keen af on Laura and everyone can see it.
Next up is Simone, Tara & Cobie as cheerleaders. They're recreating their first crush, with Matty as the babe'n jock. Simone has really tried to engage Matty in conversation. I say good on the girl! She's givin' it a go and so she damn should! The shoot is going really well and surprise, surprise - Leah & Sian have decided to watch and commentate (rudely, may I add).
It's time for Leah to channel Olivia Newton-John in Grease and wow, Matty is hot af in that leather jacket. Is it getting extremely hot in here or is it just me?
They are getting VERY close in this shoot. Touchy, looking like they're about to eat each other's faces while she's straddling him on a motorbike. She gives him a kiss on the cheek and then....SHE GOES FOR A FULL ON SESH! Matty couldn't have pulled away faster, blaming it on being inappropriate in front of the other girls. AWKS FOR HER! Best moment so far. One for the archives.
It's the next day and Matty has decided to make a surprise visit to the girls, but he hasn't come empty handed. He has brought MUFFINS! A man after my own heart.
The mood dropped soon after he asked Lisa (Note to self: be a model in order to have a chance with every Bachelor to grace our television screens) to play a game of tennis with him prior to the cocktail party.
They arrive at a tennis court and we see a montage of serve fails from Matty. There's something satisfying when showing a guy how to play a sport correctly. It's fulfilling.
Lisa steps in to teach him how to get it done and he ended up acing it. He's just serving me with his gorgeous looks, so I'm happy. They decided to make a bet including a kiss on the cheek, strawberries, cream & Pimms. Not a bad bet if you ask me. Is it too late to log in to my Sportsy account?
The tennis is over and they've changed into their swimwear - it's time to get romantic. Except, Lisa didn't get the memo and decided to push him in the pool instead. Smooth.
The strawberries and cream have made their way into the equation and they've decided to smother it over each other's faces instead of seductively eating them.
Things start take a serious turn and deep questions are asked: why did you decide to come on the show, blah blah blah. I'm just going to get straight to the point - he gives her a rose, just in time for the cocktail party. How convenient.
Lisa comes back holding not only Matty but a rose. Elora is devo and Jen is VERY amused by this. It's lovely when someone finds joy in your sadness? Said no one ever. Leah decided to pick on Elora about her feelings, trying to get a reaction. I swear this girl doesn't sleep until she makes everyone else feel miserable. Sounds about right.
Elora manages to steal Matty for a chat. The Mean Girls are pissed since she already has a rose and Jen tells us she outright hates her. Elora tells Jen she doesn't think she's very nice and things are getting HEATED! Where's the popcorn when I need it?! Jen says she's not, in fact, a dark person but the total opposite.
After that eventful confrontation, it's time for the rose ceremony. One girl will leave the mansion tonight.
The girl leaving the mansion tonight is...Laura-Ann. I feel sorry for the girl, she didn't even get a group date.
But as we all know, The Bachelor will keep on kickin'! Let's take a nap and reconvene for next Wednesday's ep! See ya then!
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